Saturday, January 9, 2010

I See What You're Thinking

Apple this week announced the release of a new iPhone application that may be the ultimate in social networking. Named iThink, the free app will allow friends for the first time to know each other’s thoughts instantly from moment to moment, even while asleep.

IThink uses nano-technology in which tiny electrodes are placed in the cerebrum of user’s brains. Once implanted by Apple technicians, thoughts are wirelessly sent to friend’s iPhones and read as text messages.

Critics immediately complained that our thoughts, our last bastion of privacy, will now be on display to the world. But social anthropologist Barry Golson of Chicago’s Institute of Cognitive Behavior believes this may not be a bad thing.

“If everyone knows our every thought,” he said, “we will be forced to clean up our acts. We may be finally seeing the end of all negative thoughts.”

In a related story, Russian hackers have reportedly broken into thousands of European iThink user’s brains, wreaking havoc. IPhones across the European Union have now begun texting Slavic drinking songs.

When asked to comment, Apple’s EU Director of Information Nigel Perryman had this to say,
“Crikey, now I don’t know what to think!”


Jenna Star Friedman said...

Crikey, this is funny!

Denis Gaston said...

Thanks Jenna.
Now it doesn't seem so far fetched.

humblydrawn said...

i find this hilarious! but just last wk read in StPeteTimes that in not-2-distant future computers will be so small, we will be able to inject them into our bloodstream & thus not have 2 rely solely on our fallible human brains. i also find that hilarious! as you say, now it doesn't seem so far-fetched...

mikaloguer said...

This piece is a jewel